but I have zero energy and Laura’s “prompt” is really shitty and leaves me barely anything to explore. Here’s to hoping she comes up with a better one by the weekend.
Seeing V tomorrow morning. Yay! Better get some sleep then!
Sitting on the cold bare concrete
Wrapped naked in stained sheets
Breathing in the scent of night
Memories surround her
Haunting her by fright.
Nothing will ever be the same
Except for all the pain that comes from inside of her
Left is the damage he has caused
Without realizing he’d be back in the morning for more.
The moonlight is shining bright
Just a reminder she’s still alive tonight
Clenched hands grasp her sweaty feet
Her right wrist aches in defeat after fighting off the weight of another
Why did God make her further suffer?
Caged in by white on the balcony
Sliding glass doors are the only thing that separates her from the reality she just faced
But despite that she’d never wish her worst enemy to take her place
Too afraid to go back in
She urinates on the side
And she hides it by further staining the sheet.
Tears stream down her hot puffy face
Drip red on the stained yellow sheets
A reminder of the blood bath that had begun
But like I said he wasn’t done
He wasn’t satisfied with that war
The whiteboard wasn’t good enough for sure
In his mind I was his girl
But the thought
Made me want to hurl.
Sitting on the cold bare concrete
Wrapped up naked in urine and blood stained sheets
The next morning she thought she was safe
The whole house left except for us
Bedroom door unlocked he figured she wouldn’t put up a fuss.
Bedroom door left open
He laughed while she screamed
Nobody rescuing her became her life’s major theme
Condom wrapper still fresh from last night on the floor
Daylight seeped through the verticals so there was no need for him to guess and explore.
She laid there bouncing up and down with the squeaky mattress
Pretending he wasn’t there and she wasn’t undressed
She left her body to survive
The warm sensations
She drowned herself in her mind
The only thing she felt she had left
The only thing he couldn’t take away from her
The only place she could imagine a sanctuary
A meadow full of vibrant poppies in an emerald city
Snowflakes tickling her nose
And seen from afar was a yellow brick road
Wishing she had never left home.
She followed the yellow trail
Hoping somebody at the end would be there
To help prepare her for the journey about to unfold
An angel appeared wearing a halo glistening of gold
The angel told her not to worry because she would be okay
And if she didn’t want to
She didn’t have to fight and stay.
She noticed herself struggling to breathe steadily
So she left the angel even though she wasn’t ready
She realized she was just lying there
And the pounding became unbearable
But he was angry because she was so lifeless and pale
He finally decided to climb off top of her
Yell and bail.
Sitting on the cold bare tile
Wrapped naked in his scented sticky sheets
She had a choice and she chose to shower
In the steaming hot water
It was the first time she felt that she had the power
To come clean of all damaged he caused
So she could forget
But that never happened because of the pain he caused
Her pregnancy scare
And false positive HIV test he left.
As if she already felt isolated and worthless enough
Let us add on a variety of therapists who didn’t want to touch the memories haunting her
Because her case was deemed very tough
So she continued to show up every week
Slaughtered like a Virginia ham
Just so a man would never touch her again.
She sits in your therapy chair across from you
Still wrapped up in the yellow stained sheets
Constantly remembering that night and morning
That came without a warning
And now trying to deal with the memories that surround her
Haunting her body and mind
And you ignoring all of the signs
Despite looking into her eyes to see and find
That she’s damaged goods
And dead inside.